Heather “Stone” Wolf Says

Is it really so much to ask that I be omniscient? Actually, I really wouldn’t want to know absolutely everything, that would just be too depressing- and boring- but I would like to know a ridiculous amount of things. Right now.

I find it incredibly annoying that there are so many fantstic things out there to know and not enough time to learn it all. I actually love to learn and would be happy to take classes in all the reality-based subjects I want to know (I don’t imagine anyone offers clairvoyance 101; now that would be handy), but even when I have the time to at least take a class or two, just a tiny drop in the bucket, I haven’t the money. In truth I would love to be a professional student, but again, money. Life can be such a bastard at times!

I think I will offer free labor to people who would train me in something cool and useful. Like carpentry, or electrical engineering or sewing. Not that sewing is anything I ever sit down and long to do (call me crazy, but I do actually sit down and wish I could build a cabinet or other such useful things . . . or stand and wish it), but there have been countless times I wished to just make the costume or clothing that I want, since it’s so impossible to find what you want when you’re looking for it. Or it is for me, at least! 

So, I want to be fluent in countless languages (I’ll start with Spanish, as I do live in San Diego. Maybe a little Italian or French or German at the same time), learn to build whatever I need, fix my own car, make my own clothes, I would love to have a green thumb (I’d say mine’s in the yellow category about now. I can keep certain plants alive and flourishing, but I think that’s luck and hardy plants), I’m obsessing about this driving desire I have to re-finish my furniture and I seriously need to re-work the wiring the idiot builders did such a shoddy job on in my condo, etc., etc., etc. Spring fever is not good for me! Oh, and since I am job searching, quickbooks and maybe some advanced HTML coding should be on the menu too!

So anyone out there needing free labor and a fast learning, hard-worker- here I am!

I love it! I must admit, as much as I lean (or perhaps bend over backwards) toward the classic side of the grammar debate the majority of the time, I vary on a few select issues. Such as the use of “they” for an unidentified singular antecedent. Don’t bother arguing with me, I say “they” and I’m sticking to it!

My other non-classicist leaning is my enjoyment of multiple punctuation marks. My email friends would certainly attest to this, my frequent use of multiple exclamation points is infamous! Despite this, I manage to squelch the urge when not instant messaging or writing informal emails, for the cleaner and grammatically correct single punctuation. However, perhaps because of the playwright in me, it is not an easy urge to quell. It is of paramount importance that I convey the intention of each sentence and oftentimes one punctuation just cannot express the depth of my emotion!(!) “Help! Help! I’m being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!” I’m sorry, Monty Python quotes just slip out occasionally. Hey, it’s my blog, I’ll do what I want!

Anyway, this frequently happens to me with questions that are also exclamations, which is why I love the interrobang! Just saying it requires an exclamation point- Interrobang! Even if it were not so much fun just saying interrobang (okay, okay, I’ll stop), I appreciate the recognition that sometimes the surprise or incredulity of an interrogative statement rivals the fact that it is an interrogative statement. Not that grammarians completely caved, it is not a punctuation that is accepted in formal writing. It is also still a single punctuation, they just happened to slap an exclamation point on top of a question mark, or vice versa, if you like. But for all those who feel as I do, that occasionally one just isn’t enough, please go interrobang crazy- for all of us!

For proper use of the interrobang, please enjoy this very informative interrobang introduction by Grammar Girl:

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/punctuating-questions.aspx

So, the popular majority (because I am not even acknowledging the electoral college) in the United States celebrates as we all take a moment to appreciate an historic moment in our nation’s history. Fantastic, now we can wait to see how our president-elect will attempt to address cleaning up the landfill that has become our environment, economy, foreign policy, etc, etc, etc.  

But forget that; I wait on tenterhooks for the definitive result of the basic human rights issue foremost in my mind since Proposition 8 was included on the ballot. And what to my wondrous disappointment should appear- 52% of Californians say no to basic human rights. No Virginia, there is no separation of church and state. Why was I naive enough to hope California would live up to it’s liberal (in a positive sense) and progressive reputation? Honestly, I just thought more of the inhabitants of this state. My unfortunate mistake. 

Well homophobes and religious zealots can now congratulate themselves- there will no longer be homosexual couples! Children will never encounter the existence of homosexuality! Oh wait, no, gay couples will still be allowed in public? they may even hold hands? or kiss?! or do anything single, straight couples do in public? and they’ll still have SEX? OH GOD NO!!! Perhaps we should have allowed them to marry, that would have at least solved the sex issue. Oh well, at least the ancient tradition of heterosexuals being the only ones permitted to destroy the sanctity of marriage remains intact. Not just any religious reich, I mean right, could pass such a glaringly discriminatory and unconstitutional amendment! Homophobe high five!